Second try character

[Paige hewes]

Name: Max West
Age:13
Mortal family:Jessica West (decrease
History: My mom died when I was 11year old . I lived with my aunt for 2 years. I was beaten . And they burn half side of face. So I ran away for my life. I lived in New York all my life. I had to find my missing father. I never gone to a real school. My father went missing when I was born.
Personally: I'm sweet . I don't trust anyone. I have really good reflex . I barely speak.
Physical: I have blue eyes . Dark black hair . Half of my face is burned . I'm a girl. My legs scratch up not healing.
Flaws: I hate reading
Talent: climing , skateboard and lightning
Wepopends: dagger and lightning
Other: I lision to musica allot with my head phone .

[Paige hewes]

Is this okay?

[GeneralArin]

Alright, so we have our own application for this site, and you're missing a lot of the sections. So I'm going to include the copy-pasted template. 
On your post, at the top right corner is a button that says "edit", use that to edit your post and correct it. When you're done, reply to it like you did here to let us know there's an update. 

Application below: 

Name: First and Last Name

Age: Newly claimed must be between 11 and 14.

God Parent: No, you can't be a Titan's kid. So don't ask. Big Three kids are limited.

Mortal Family: First and Last Names. Even if they're dead, they were alive at some point. Include them.

Years in Camp: New characters will not be allowed to have been at camp for five or more years. 

History: Your life up until this point in the roleplay. This includes your former home life, major events, and if applicable, what you've done in camp up until now. At least 8 sentences. Be sure to include details! 

Physical Appearance: At least 4 sentences. Be sure to include details!

Personality: At least 4 sentences. Be sure to include details! Remember, you're describing a person. Try and tell how your character reacts to people and situations. This does not include facts like how your character likes pizza.

Fatal Flaw: It's a single personality shortcoming. Don't just tell what it is, but describe it more. Basically, tell how it could ruin your character. This means, for those who won't read the help, it must be related to your character's personality (Not extreme likes, dislikes, or phobias) and you need to write more than 'it could be bad'. 
There is a help section on this if you're still stuck.

Talents: Anything of note that your character is good at, including hobbies. To be considered a talent, it needs to be above the normal level of skill. 

Weapons: Magic weapons also must be approved by the staff, so keep that in mind. (Your weapon cannot be made out of Stygian Iron or Imperial Gold. And silver weapons are only for huntresses.)

Other: Anything else about your character of note. If it's that important to you, this is where you put that your character likes pizza. 

[Paige hewes]

I did all of this . Read read it

[GeneralArin]

Okay, it looks exactly the same, so I'm going to point out the categories you're missing. 

--God Parent: No, you can't be a Titan's kid. So don't ask. Big Three kids are limited.


--Years in Camp: New characters will not be allowed to have been at camp for five or more years. 


--Fatal Flaw: It's a single personality shortcoming. Don't just tell what it is, but describe it more. Basically, tell how it could ruin your character. This means, for those who won't read the help, it must be related to your character's personality (Not extreme likes, dislikes, or phobias) and you need to write more than 'it could be bad'. 


Hating reading isn't a Fatal Flaw, or even much of a character flaw at all unless you're telling a story about a literature professor. 
Probably one of the main things that will help with this is to define your personality better. Right now it's just giving a few really unhelpful indicators. I want to know who this character is as a person, so tell me about how they react to people and problems, whether they're busy and lazy, and just describe this person more. 
Personality is how people usually act and relate to things, not necessarily things like reflexes or preferences.  

History also needs to be fleshed out and explained.

[Paige hewes]

God parent: Zeus
Year at camp: 1
Flaws: People hurt me I have no trust . People have no respect for. Because I think their monsters about to stab and kill me. Climbing keep me high
Personally : I'm sweet like a orange but can be sour . I have no respect for other people .
History: A long time ago Jessica west(mom) meet at the Lightning show. He had a bolt necklace my mom said one day he got hit and killed . I've lived in New York all my life. I had a great life intell my mom died of cancer at age 11 . My aunt claimed me but got drunk every night . She beat me and one night she was mad at me so she burned half of my face when I was 12. I ran away for my life . The last time I trusted someone hey we're a monster trying to kill me . My spence lead me to camp to survive . My past was not pretty but I hope my future is.

[Paige hewes]

Their is it good.

[GeneralArin]

Okay, well first question: are you on the mobile site? Because that would explain a few things. 
Second: There is an 'edit' button on the posts on the proper site, please use it and it'll make both of our lives easier.
Third: the whole app needs to be in one cohesive piece. You took out sections that were there before. 
Fourth: There is a four sentence minimum on most things, so you need to put a bit of an effort on describing the character. 
And finally: Write it in third person, like you're narrating someone else's story. "Jake went to the store." Not "I went to the store"

[Paige hewes]

I can't I tried

[GeneralArin]

Okay, that answers one thing. Now what about the others? You can copy-paste the template into your post on either phone or computer, and you should be able to see old posts while you post if you scroll down on either version. 
Try again. 

We want to make sure characters are locked in before putting them in roleplay so we can make sure they make sense and you know what you're playing as.

[Paige hewes]

I can't and how long intell full approve

[GeneralArin]

You'll be fully approved when we can get a character app up to speed, and right now it's rather fragmented. 

Now, what can't you do? Even if you can't edit your post from your device, that's manageable, but you need to copy-paste and fill in the proper template, so then it's all in one place, and we can work on getting the app all together.

[Paige hewes]

I can't download app and tried .

[Axel The Bunny]

you do not need to download, just copy and post it into the previous post using the edit button, or is it that you cannot edit, if so I recommend restating your browser and and/or device. Also If you really need a reference for a complete app I'd recommend looking at previously done apps that were approved. I'll link a few in here including one of my own. But still this has a lot of work to go through before it gets approved.

https://half-bloods.rpg-board.net/t1692-nix-averon-hunter-of-artemis

https://half-bloods.rpg-board.net/t1678-charlotte-charlie-gavin

https://half-bloods.rpg-board.net/t1690-laera-alvin


While apps don't need to be perfect normally, realize we have high standards that I WILL hold you to if you want to try for a big three character. Much more so than with normal characters.

[Paige hewes]

I just want to role play . And still have max

[Axel The Bunny]

I understand what you are saying, but there is a reason that we have the application system. For one thing it allows a clear show of who a character is and their capabilities and the like, so that the character is developed well and cannot pull random powers out for plot convenience. Also the fact is this form of Roleplay is heavily writing based, we are creating a story, however I know for a fact most role play forms do require a character sheet of some kind, at least most I have participated in. If you really want Max, go through the application process, because it is required, and we are not going to give an exception because "you just wanna roleplay." I do not even let my own brother get away with not doing an app. you'll also find most if not all roleplay sites use an application process of some kind, because there are too many problems with not doing so.

[Paige hewes]

I wright it again . On the same Paige

[Paige hewes]

I mean page

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